Seabiscuit, or How the Economy Might Be Saved Through Online Shopping

I know little about horse racing or the practices and processes that go into it. What I know, I have gleaned from period pieces that feature impassioned, well-dressed spectators in fedoras, overcoats and wool Brooks Brothers' suits contorting their faces to Hellenistic degrees of over-emotion. But, despite the paucity of my knowledge, I know no other way to analogize Online Holiday Sales than with a cheap, clich